Songs of the Simp Volume 1

In the first ever “Songs of the Simp” I will be examining songs which promote, or at the very least exhibit, Simp behavior. I don’t know if this will be an ongoing thing but I found a song too perfect to pass up this opportunity.

This is a country song by Rhett Akins called “That aint my truck.” Personally I love the song, and also country music but I have to call out a spade when I see it. Most country music is filled with this type of stuff. Let’s start with the lyrics:

She’s been goin’ out with him
She’s been goin’ out with me
Said she’d let us know by tonight
Which one it would be

Right off the bat we see the girl he’s in love with is dating not only him, but some other guy too (presumably Chad.) It is clear she is in total control of the dynamic and makes the Simp realize he is part of a pool of choices, and he better be on his best behavior or he won’t be selected.

So I waited by the phone
But she never called me up
Had to know what was goin’ on
So, I drove by her house and sure enough…

The simp is so desperate for love he waits patiently by the phone, waiting for her decision. She never calls and he goes in to full stalker mode. Who can’t relate to how the simp is feeling? Constantly worried what the girl is doing and who she is with.

That ain’t my truck in her drive
Man this ain’t my day tonight
Looks like she’s in love and I’m out of luck
That ain’t my shadow on her wall
Lord this don’t look good at all
That’s my girl my whole world
But that ain’t my truck

The simp goes on to explain how he drove by her house and saw Chads truck in the driveway. While he was frantically worrying about her decision, she was getting all hot and bothered as Chad slipped deep inside her, presumably to bust a load, wipe himself off with your shirt that you let her borrow, and then take off with the boys to the lake.

The simp continues to spiral into neuroticism:

I pulled over by the curb
I’ve been sittin’ here all night
Wonderin’ what it was I did so wrong
That he did so right

He’s on the side of the road wondering why all those flowers and dinners he bought her didn’t sway her decision. Meanwhile, Chad treats her like shit and she loves it.

I’ve thought of breakin’ down her door
But there’s nothin’ left to say
That chevy four-by-four
Says it all sittin’ in my place

The simp realizes there’s nothing he can do about the situation. Chad is deep inside her while he is deep in his emotions. Will this experience Red Pill the young man? Unfortunately some men never learn! Let’s pour one out for yet another fallen soldier.

Here’s the song:

Leave a Comment